Here’s an email I sent to my best friend the other day.
Sigh. Vulnerability. Yikes.
Well, here goes…..
Hey girl,
This is the name of the blog post I’m writing today.
I experienced the shocking revelation of my pot belly gut last night.
I’m so used to holding my stomach in that when I released and let go, my waistline took it a little too literally.
I look like I’m in my first trimester. Seriously.
I thought, “wait a second. I’ve been detoxing for a month and have been eating mostly raw fruits and vegetables-except for some sprouted bread and almond milk”.
Nothing unusual than I’ve eaten in the past, but for some reason my tummy has transformed into the guy on the old Rolaids commercial.
I’m bewildered as to why I’m getting fatter when I’m living healthier and feeling better than I have physically in years.
Any ideas, my intuitive friend?
Last night I was out doing my now-daily 3 hour walk and let my stomach be “as is”.
What an experience.
My intent was this: I need to love myself-and this includes my pot belly. As you know, I of course am well versed and well practiced in self love, but this challenged me to take it higher.
I feel discouraged and dissapointed about it. It feels as if all the hard dedication and work aren’t paying off. I hate being fat. It feels gross and I know I don’t look my best-my idea of “best” anyway.
Any ideas?
I’m being honest about how I’m feeling. Or trying to be. I don’t want to get stuck in those negative thoughts and end up sabotaging myself. But I know permission is so important. It’s easier said than done when you face a new challenge.
I’m BIGGER than before I detoxed and changed eating habits AND exercised? WTF!!!
Anyway, me and my stomach are amicable right now. Pray for us!!! LOL
Hope all is well over there!
Lots of love,
Helen
—————
I feel better today as I write this. No matter how much you think you’ve arrived at self-love, something comes up (or out in the case of my stomach) that makes you re-evaluate how far you’ve come. There is always room for growth. In the grand scheme of eternity, it’s all a journey, isn’t it?
Having an “Idomewed” mindset matters here, because the challenge is for me to embrace who I am, not just who I’m going to be.
And part of who I am is my recently protruding belly. A definite crossroad. I had to question whether I was really committed to myself. I’ve said “I DO” to ME which includes saying “I DO” to my imperfections.
Weight for women is HUGE (no pun intended here). Millions of women are in a battle with the bulge for a lifetime. Dieting is a way of life. Some have just let it go and are resigned to the “if ya can’t be it, join it” mentality, where they feel sexy looking like what a guy I know calls “rolling refridgerators”.
Do I want my stomach to look like this?
Of course!
What this experience represents is the understanding that we are more than our physical bodies. The body is only 1 percent of who we are. Our consciousness is who we are. I can observe my stomach and acknowledge the jelly rolls and still do something about it.
Ultimately, the question is, can I accept my “1st trimester belly” without hating myself, beating myself up or withholding love from myself until my body is lean, toned and firm?
The answer is YES.
So, am I going to do something about it?
Of course I am.
Knowing what I know about the true nature of reality, there’s no way I can give up. Giving up is just not in my nature. Maybe it’s the Aries in me.
Another lesson learned here: what works a year ago doesn’t mean it will work now. As Bruce Lee said, you must be “fluid like water”. That means you have to be open to change and making the necessary adjustments. This has to do with weight as well. If eating raw foods or a vegan diet triggered weight release in 2012 and it’s causing weight gain in 2013, then there’s a solution to every problem. If what I’m doing isn’t working, then I have to try something different.
Okay, that’s it for now. The love saga continues.
Wishing you peace and internal ease,
“Idomewed”.
Helen
IdoMeWed...and live happily ever after 