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Archive for December, 2013

self blame

I’m learning to be human.

Sounds simple, but the simplest things are hardest sometimes.

In this marriage with myself, it can often mirror a relationship with someone else–trying to be perfect.

Do these sound familiar?

—If I go on this diet, I’ll lose weight and be liked more
—If I stop making this mistake, I’ll be okay;life will be okay
—If I….

At the core of it, I have this feeling that if I am perfect, then I will be loved unconditionally. Not only that, but Life will be perfect, my relationships will be perfect, I’ll be accepted and not corrected and I won’t disappoint anyone….

Wish me luck.

I’m starting to internalize the fact that I am only human. And that being human is not a bad thing.

Let’s get philosophical for a minute.

What if being human means vulnerability? What if this fragile-ness, this ability to not only succeed but to fail, to rise but to fall, to laugh but cry is the whole point of it all?

What if the key to perfection is embracing our imperfection?

What if being weak really does make us strong?

You know what’s been funny right now? Is that the more I just accept the fact that I feel weak, vulnerable, unsure and other “negative” emotions in my life; the more I realize that I don’t have the answers to my own dilemmas, the more I feel free.

The better and more secure I am in my relationship with ME.

Maybe I’m not supposed to be prefect. Maybe-just maybe-I’m supposed to simply BE.

How about you?

Until we meet again,
“Idomewed!”

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worthiness You know, guys, I had a revelation recently. I realized that-in my own personal universe at least-that there is a distinct difference between being DESERVING of something and being WORTHY.

This matters-again, at least in my corner of the Universe- with everything.

Let me break it down:

For starters, we often confuse WORTHINESS with DESERVING on a self-esteem level.

Example: Are we WORTHY of having the life we desire or are we DESERVING of it?

Another example: Are we WORTHY of earning more money or being financially wealthy or are we DESERVING of it?

Another one close to home:

Are we WORTHY of being in a loving, dynamic relationship with our soulmate…or are we DESERVING of it?

Let’s define the two:

We are ALL worthy of good things; we are worthy of having whatever our hearts desire-whatever it is. WORTHINESS stems from each person’s natural birthright to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. By our very nature, we are more than flesh bodies, male or female or even our personalities. We are of the very fabric of all there is-divine born of divine…or as scripture says, “word became flesh”.

By that alone, we are worthy.

However…..

Deserving is a tad different. As I said, we often confuse the two. But are we DESERVING of having the life we desire? Are we DESERVING of being in a loving, dynamic relationship with our soulmate?

The answer is: it depends.

It depends on us-on whether we are up to the task, so to speak. See, I believe that while WORTHINESS is inherent–a spiritual quality, DESERVING is earned..

While we are WORTHY of being in an amazing soulmate relationship, we may not be DESERVING of one. While we may be WORTHY of being financially wealthy or having that dream career, we may not be DESERVING of it yet.

In other words, we have to:

1. Be a vibrational match to what we are worthy of, i.e. what we want.

2. Similar to #1, be on the same wavelength as what we want.

3. Do the necessary preparation emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually for what we want.

With #1 and #2, DESERVING means that we have to have our belief systems in order. It also means that we have our thoughts on the same page, too. For example, if we have a core belief in our subconscious mind that love = pain, then we will energetically repel love from ourselves. OR we will self-sabotage it even if it does show up. We have to also be thinking dominant thoughts that will attract and create what it is we seek. Thoughts like, “I am worthy of love” or “I am so thankful for love coming into my life”.

With #3, we must do what Lenon Honor (www.lenonhonor.com) calls PHP: PURIFICATION, HEALING & PREPARATION.

Purification: Purifying our environment, intenally and externally. Learning to say “I do” to ourselves! Cultivating self-love within ourselves, learning and appreciating who we are, practicing self-respect, honoring our feelings, honoring our time, and just honoring ourselves overall. Instead of reading celebrity gossip blogs, we can choose to read blogs like this one. To ask ourselves with each decision we make (what we watch on t.v.-or IF we should continue watching t.v.-what we read, what music we listen to, what we spend our “free” time doing, and who we hang out with) is this decision going to help us or harm us? Does it come from self-love or a need for escapism? Is what I’m choosing to do getting me closer to my dreams and goals or is it holding me back from them?

Healing: Instead of escapism with drugs, shopping, sex or entertainment (or all of them combined in some scenarios) DESERVING means facing our fears, our pain and traumas for the purpose of healing them. Hurt people hurt people and until we heal, we will only continue the cycle.

Shameless plug here: I have a powerful e-book on healing called “How do I get Over it? A practical Guide to letting go of the Past”. (Click on the link if you want to know more). I take a very unique, practical and non-traditional approach to forgiveness and it has changed my life. If you’re struggling with unforgiveness and past pain, I recommend checking it out.

But back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Preparation: These are the practical action steps we take to prepare ourelves for what it is we desire. If it is a romantic soulmate relationship, there are many ways to prepare. I mean, if we are traveling out of town, we prepare, right? We pack a bag with what we need. If we are having people over for dinner we prepare by getting the food, making dinner, setting up the dinnertable and cleaning the house.

It is the same with preparing for what we want. We practice dressing better, having a better attitude, cleaning our house regularly, reading books on how to have positive strong relationships, and anything else to prepare us for meeting our dream mate.

And that goes for anything. We must deserve things by matching our dedication, determination, discipline, time management, and focus to what we want. We have to put in the work along with visualizing and believing what we want is already there.

Enough shared for today.
Sending you peace & internal ease,
“Ido-mewed!”

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road less traveled

On this life journey, I’m at a place where I’m here to report some startling news:

THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH EVERYTHING.

Yes.

What I mean is this:

If you are someone on a personal quest for righteousness-be it with your physical health, your diet (what you eat and/or how you eat it), manifesting the life you want (spouses, relationships, houses, cars, finances, peace of mind, etc.) or some kind of spiritual enlightenment (meditation, religious practices, etc.) then you’ve probably noticed something. (And if you haven’t noticed it, then you sense it but can’t put your finger on it yet)….

That “it” is that THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH EVERYTHING.

That means:

one-what you do will never be enough

two-there will always be different people saying their way is right and that their way works.

three-Like #2, there will be diametrically opposing thoughts, ideas, methods, laws, beliefs causing frustration and confusion among those seeking truth

At this point on my journey, I’m beginning to realize something: TRUTH IS RELATIVE.

I have some new “truths” I go by now-some very recently. Here they are:

one-BE CRITICAL THINKERS. USE YOUR INTERNAL DIVINELY-BESTOWED FACULTIES TO FORM YOUR OWN BELIEF SYSTEMS IN LIFE. THESE “DIVINE” FACULTIES INCLUDE YOUR INTUTITION, YOUR INTELLECT, YOUR ABILITY TO DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS THROUGH DEDUCTION AND INDUCTION OF INFORMATION AND TO ULTIMATELY CONNECT THE DOTS OF WHAT YOU’RE SEEING, HEARING, OR READING.

two-QUESTION EVERYTHING. DON’T GIVE GURUS, HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITIES, POLITICIANS, LIFE COACHES, “EXPERTS”, DOCTOR OZ, LUMINARIES, OR ANY SUPPOSED “AUTHORITY FIGURES” THE POWER TO MOLD YOUR REALITY FOR YOU. REMEMBER, EVERYTHING YOU SEE OR READ IS JUST INFORMATION TO BE INTERPRETED. HOW YOU INTERPRET IT IS WHAT MAKES YOU YOU. PROBLEM IS, WE’RE TOLD HOW TO INTERPRET INFORMATION, WHICH COMPROMISES OUR PERSONAL INTERGRITY AND FREE WILL. DRAW YOU OWN CONCLUSIONS. NOBODY IS SUPPOSED TO AGREE 100 PERCENT ON EVERYTHING! THERE’S A WORD FOR THAT-IT’S CALLED CLONING.

three-TREAT TRUTH LIKE A BUFFET; FILL YOUR “PLATE” WITH ONLY THE THINGS YOU WANT, NEED, AND THAT TASTE GOOD TO YOU. I KNOW, WE’VE BEEN BRAINWASHED TO BELIEVE TRUTH IS THIS UNIVERSAL ABSOLUTE THING FOR EVERYONE AND IT IS WRONG TO “PICK AND CHOOSE” BUT THAT IS A COMPLETE LIE.

four-STAND UP FOR YOURSELF; NO LONGER ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE’S TRUTHS TO COMPROMISE YOUR FREE WILL TO CHOOSE YOUR OWN. THIS ALSO MEANS NOT ALLOWING THEM TO JUDGE YOU BASED ON THEIR BELIEFS AND PERCEPTIONS OF REALITY. REMEMBER, WE’RE ALL SEARCHING AND GROWING. I’VE SEEN PEOPLE SO ANIMATE THAT THEIR WAY WAS TRUE TURN AROUND AND DENOUNCE THE SAME “TRUTH” A SHORT TIME LATER UNDER THE GUISE OF “NEW DEVELOPMENTS”. I WOULD GET SO PISSED OFF AT THESE PEOPLE, THINKING THEM TO BE HYPOCRITES AND SOMETIMES HUSTLERS TO THE MASSES OF PEOPLE WHO CONVENIENTLY GIVE THEMSELVES A WAY OUT AT EVERY CONTRADICTION TO BENEFIT THEMSELVES.

BUT I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GIVING THEM THAT KIND OF POWER OVER ME, ANYWAY. THEY CAN SAY WHAT THEY WANT, IT’S MY CHOICE TO BELIEVE THEM.

I get that now. And I hope more of us start getting it.

I’m starting to question EVERYTHING. I mean even the stuff that is deemed unquestionable.

I did that with religion. I was ex-communicated.

Now I’m doing that with Universal Laws. I’m beginning to wonder if these Uniersal Laws are solid as they say or if that is just their belief in them being unchangable is what makes them unchangable. In short, I’m wondering if our power of BELIEF is more than we’ve been told.

You probably have your own “ponderings” from things you’ve observed. My advice is to join me in following those leads. I think we’re onto something.

In “Idomewed” fashion, remember to say “I do” to yourself first-now and always.

Have a blessed holiday season, too 🙂

Love,
Helen

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