Archive for August, 2013

saying no

Often we are told that it’s okay to say “no” to things that are bad for us.

And that’s true. We do. Learning to say “no” to a bad relationship, job, or negative influence is a muscle most of us have yet to exercise.

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about today.

I’m talking about the one thing people who tell us to say “no” to bad things, people and situations forget to mention:

Sometimes we need to say “no” to things that are GOOD.


Just because a person, a job, or an opportunity is a good one, it may not be good FOR YOU.

Saying “I do” to ourselves means that we love ourselves enough to look at the big picture. One of my biggest tests in life is to not feel as if an opportunity is the “last boat sailing.”

My lesson oftentimes is to realize that good is the enemy of great. I have to trust my intuition on things. And I have to take an honest assessment of the situation. There have been many opportunities that I just didn’t have the money for. I would agonize over it and beat myself up because I couldn’t afford it. I am learning to walk away from certain things quicker and with more resolve. Today I am more aware of the power of my Infinite Mind to create my own reality so I worry less about missed “once-in-a-lifetime” opportunities and more on preparing myself for the right ones that will come my way.

Loving ourselves means caring about ourselves enough to make the best conscious decisions possible. We care about our lives, our highest good and we want to do for ourelves the best we can.

Get-rich-quick anything is not “Idomewed”.

Sugardaddies are not “Idomewed”.

Settling for a romantic partner is not “Idomewed”.

Taking a job for the money only isn’t “Idomewed” either.

And spending money you don’t have on a program, a pair of expensive shoes on sale, or throwing it in the church collection plate on Sunday sure as hell ain’t “Idomewed”!

Sometimes it’s the right situation but the wrong time.

Sometimes it’s the wrong situation and the right time.

Sometimes it’s the wrong situation AND the wrong time.

…and sometimes it’s the right situation AND the right time!

We have to practice being able to discern between the four. And in my own life, when it’s the right time AND the right situation, there’s no stopping it: money, time, people (or the like) will be able to keep it from happening. There’s a famous saying that goes: “there is no stopping an idea whose time has come“.

So let’s start saying “I do” to ourselves by saying “no” to things that are not the BEST FOR US.

Sending you peace & internal ease,


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Your life-and my life- can be summed up in five days:

day one:

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

day two:

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

day three:

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

day four:

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

day five;

I walk down another street.

Copyright (c) 1993, by Portia Nelson from the book There’s A Hole in My Sidewalk. Reproduced with kind permission from Beyond Words Publishing, Hillsboro, Oregon.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Don’t you love metaphors?

I call it self-awareness 101.

So here’s today’s question: Which day are you on?

See, with every situation in our lives, we find ourselves on this street on one of those 5 days.

With some situations, we are in Day 1. Others are in Day 3… and sometimes we are able to hopscotch from Day 1 straight to Day 5.

But there are things in our lives where we are literally STUCK in the same hole over and over again. We keep choosing the same street and keep falling in the same hole over and over again.

This comes from self-denial. We pretend the hole isn’t there and we aren’t self-aware of what we’re doing.

Self-awareness: when you know why you do what you do.

These 5 days represent life in a nutshell.

Day 1 represents your first time you mess up. You’re feeling the pain of your circumstances.

Day 2 represents your second time you mess up in the same situation. You’re still a victim and in serious self-denial.

Day 3 represents your third time messing up. This time around you’re aware that you’re messing up but you don’t know why.

Day 4 represents your fourth time around the block. You realize that you can make a better choice this time. An improvement.

Day 5 represents self-awareness. You make the best choice. Prevention is better than remedy.

Self-awareness is key when it comes to living the “Idomewed” lifestyle of self-love, appreciation and marrying body, mind and soul. It means knowing ourselves and why we do what we do. We are mentally aware of our choices and where we are at emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

This is life. Let’s make it a phenomenal one. Even if we’re stuck on day 3, day 5 can always be tomorrow.

Sending you peace & internal ease,

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