Posts Tagged ‘love’

self blame

I’m learning to be human.

Sounds simple, but the simplest things are hardest sometimes.

In this marriage with myself, it can often mirror a relationship with someone else–trying to be perfect.

Do these sound familiar?

—If I go on this diet, I’ll lose weight and be liked more
—If I stop making this mistake, I’ll be okay;life will be okay
—If I….

At the core of it, I have this feeling that if I am perfect, then I will be loved unconditionally. Not only that, but Life will be perfect, my relationships will be perfect, I’ll be accepted and not corrected and I won’t disappoint anyone….

Wish me luck.

I’m starting to internalize the fact that I am only human. And that being human is not a bad thing.

Let’s get philosophical for a minute.

What if being human means vulnerability? What if this fragile-ness, this ability to not only succeed but to fail, to rise but to fall, to laugh but cry is the whole point of it all?

What if the key to perfection is embracing our imperfection?

What if being weak really does make us strong?

You know what’s been funny right now? Is that the more I just accept the fact that I feel weak, vulnerable, unsure and other “negative” emotions in my life; the more I realize that I don’t have the answers to my own dilemmas, the more I feel free.

The better and more secure I am in my relationship with ME.

Maybe I’m not supposed to be prefect. Maybe-just maybe-I’m supposed to simply BE.

How about you?

Until we meet again,


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worthiness You know, guys, I had a revelation recently. I realized that-in my own personal universe at least-that there is a distinct difference between being DESERVING of something and being WORTHY.

This matters-again, at least in my corner of the Universe- with everything.

Let me break it down:

For starters, we often confuse WORTHINESS with DESERVING on a self-esteem level.

Example: Are we WORTHY of having the life we desire or are we DESERVING of it?

Another example: Are we WORTHY of earning more money or being financially wealthy or are we DESERVING of it?

Another one close to home:

Are we WORTHY of being in a loving, dynamic relationship with our soulmate…or are we DESERVING of it?

Let’s define the two:

We are ALL worthy of good things; we are worthy of having whatever our hearts desire-whatever it is. WORTHINESS stems from each person’s natural birthright to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. By our very nature, we are more than flesh bodies, male or female or even our personalities. We are of the very fabric of all there is-divine born of divine…or as scripture says, “word became flesh”.

By that alone, we are worthy.


Deserving is a tad different. As I said, we often confuse the two. But are we DESERVING of having the life we desire? Are we DESERVING of being in a loving, dynamic relationship with our soulmate?

The answer is: it depends.

It depends on us-on whether we are up to the task, so to speak. See, I believe that while WORTHINESS is inherent–a spiritual quality, DESERVING is earned..

While we are WORTHY of being in an amazing soulmate relationship, we may not be DESERVING of one. While we may be WORTHY of being financially wealthy or having that dream career, we may not be DESERVING of it yet.

In other words, we have to:

1. Be a vibrational match to what we are worthy of, i.e. what we want.

2. Similar to #1, be on the same wavelength as what we want.

3. Do the necessary preparation emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually for what we want.

With #1 and #2, DESERVING means that we have to have our belief systems in order. It also means that we have our thoughts on the same page, too. For example, if we have a core belief in our subconscious mind that love = pain, then we will energetically repel love from ourselves. OR we will self-sabotage it even if it does show up. We have to also be thinking dominant thoughts that will attract and create what it is we seek. Thoughts like, “I am worthy of love” or “I am so thankful for love coming into my life”.

With #3, we must do what Lenon Honor (www.lenonhonor.com) calls PHP: PURIFICATION, HEALING & PREPARATION.

Purification: Purifying our environment, intenally and externally. Learning to say “I do” to ourselves! Cultivating self-love within ourselves, learning and appreciating who we are, practicing self-respect, honoring our feelings, honoring our time, and just honoring ourselves overall. Instead of reading celebrity gossip blogs, we can choose to read blogs like this one. To ask ourselves with each decision we make (what we watch on t.v.-or IF we should continue watching t.v.-what we read, what music we listen to, what we spend our “free” time doing, and who we hang out with) is this decision going to help us or harm us? Does it come from self-love or a need for escapism? Is what I’m choosing to do getting me closer to my dreams and goals or is it holding me back from them?

Healing: Instead of escapism with drugs, shopping, sex or entertainment (or all of them combined in some scenarios) DESERVING means facing our fears, our pain and traumas for the purpose of healing them. Hurt people hurt people and until we heal, we will only continue the cycle.

Shameless plug here: I have a powerful e-book on healing called “How do I get Over it? A practical Guide to letting go of the Past”. (Click on the link if you want to know more). I take a very unique, practical and non-traditional approach to forgiveness and it has changed my life. If you’re struggling with unforgiveness and past pain, I recommend checking it out.

But back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Preparation: These are the practical action steps we take to prepare ourelves for what it is we desire. If it is a romantic soulmate relationship, there are many ways to prepare. I mean, if we are traveling out of town, we prepare, right? We pack a bag with what we need. If we are having people over for dinner we prepare by getting the food, making dinner, setting up the dinnertable and cleaning the house.

It is the same with preparing for what we want. We practice dressing better, having a better attitude, cleaning our house regularly, reading books on how to have positive strong relationships, and anything else to prepare us for meeting our dream mate.

And that goes for anything. We must deserve things by matching our dedication, determination, discipline, time management, and focus to what we want. We have to put in the work along with visualizing and believing what we want is already there.

Enough shared for today.
Sending you peace & internal ease,

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As you can see, for the past few posts my self-empowerment blog has been dedicated to my own self-empowerment more than anyone else’s.

And I’m okay with that.

Maybe it helps someone some kind of way. Perhaps it will resonate with someone else’s struggle. Or it spurs them on to think about their own circumstances in a constructive way. In my life, I have found that the things that help the most are when people allow themselves to be vulnerable, honest and can allow people a front row seat to someone else just like them working out issues in real time. Hopefully they will be inspired in the sense that if this person can do it, I can too.

We exist in a world where the master game is to have it all together. To be the “expert”, the “guru”, the “master teacher” the celebrity icon…

In other words, it’s about the image, the mirage, the illusion.

Forget about being honest with anyone else, can we be honest with ourselves?

That, my friends, is the question I constantly seek to answer.

There are reasons people would literally rather die than to face their own truth. One of these reasons is that deep down, they are afraid.

I’ve heard it stated that there are only 2 things that really exist in this universe: fear & love.

And our fear drives us to live lies (be it complete lies or half-truths) and choke out our own honesty and authenticity. We’re afraid that if we are really honest with ourselves then we will die.

We fear that:

The truth will literally destroy us.
We’ll lose everything.

That’s what the soap operas and t.v. dramas thrive on. It’s the same storyline: what will Deidre do if her fiance’ finds out she really is in love with another man? And that man is her fiance’s brother?


All this tells us that the truth is not a good idea.

Yeah, we know the Jesus guy said it will set us free. But it got him nailed to a cross.

(Just being honest).

And phrases like, “the truth hurts”, “the truth is ugly”, and the subsequent “God don’t like ugly” sets the stage for us to run the other way from anything too real.

Lately, the challenge has been for me to be totally honest with myself. This marraige to myself I call “Idomewed” is beckoning me to take it to the next level-not in the performance-based way, but the way of the heart. The longer you’re with someone, the more intimacy is required to deepen the bond and maintain it.

But back to today’s question: does honesty kill us or make us stronger?

I’m finding it to be a fear-based myth that we won’t survive the truth. Being honest with ourselves is never easy, but…what the hell is? And what is easy that’s also equally as worthwhile as what’s gained?

That sounds so awesome, philospohically speaking, I know. But in the “real” world, (or the matrix-take your pick), there comes a point where the lies wear thin for even the best of us. Bernie Madoff eventually got caught, remember?

When I speak of being honest, I mean the little things. I am referring to the emotions or feelings deep inside us. I allowed myself to be dissapointed about certain people from my past who let me down. One woman in particualr I loved as a friend and gave alot to monetarily, time-wise and energy wise. It was not reciprocated as I was not even invited to her wedding, never the less being asked to be in it.

That really hurt me and usually when she came to mind, I would practically slap my own wrists, telling myself that I should have seen the signs that she wasn’t a real friend to me in the first place and that I shouldn’t be petty about being in a wedding.

Well, the other night, I was in bed and for some reason she came to mind. (I think it’s because I’m currently writing a memoir about my life which is bringing up lots of memories and emotions). I automatically started to go into a wrist-slapping session when I realized what was happening. I said to myself, “Wait. It’s okay that you were dissapointed. It’s okay that you loved her.”

I’m not gonna lie. Being honest with myself was painful. But honesty brings a good kind of pain. It’s similar to the burn you feel working out (exercising). Once that passes, it is well worth it, because it makes you better. See, I have been in pain many times in my life and many of those times it has been unproductive. I think that’s what depression may be. When we dwell on emotions and thoughts that don’t serve us and actually beat us down-usually because we feel we deserve to feel bad.

After the inital pain of the moment of honesty, it feels better. Comforting. Realizing that it’s going to be okay. That I’m okay.

It (honesty) didn’t destroy me… In fact, it actually freed me.

Maybe that’s the metaphor for Christ’s crucifixtion: dying to the lies and being resurrected in the truth.

I found that when you can be honest with yourself, you find the self-acceptance that so many people talk so loosely about along with all the other “selfs”: self-love and self-esteem. When you accept your own feelings and emotions, it opens up the door for alot of good things to come into your life experience.

And I am starting to think that this self-acceptance may be the missing piece to why some of us are not attracting what we want into our lives. Lack of permission to feel and be who we are now has to interfere with the flow of the universe bringing us what we desire.

Anyway, another day, another experience. Lots of thankfulness for it all. I’ve been up and I’ve been down. It’s called being alive. Everything being perfect is not living. Everything being awful is not living, either. Let’s be appreciative for it all and continue living, loving & being!

Sending you peace & internal ease,

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spending time alone

This is going to be another one of those cathartic postings…I can just feel it.

As I shared earlier this week, I’ve been diving deeper into myself for some long-awaited answers.

You know those answers-the ones we’ve been asking everybody else and their momma for but still haven’t come to any satisfying conclusions?

Questions like, “When is my life going to take off? Am I destinied to struggle like this forever?”


“I’m doing everything “right”. I’m driven, determined, and sincerely seeking my highest good….Why is my life not changing?”

These are some of mine, anyway.

The past few years I have spent alot of time going to psychics, intuitives, learning tarot cards, using crystals, asking advice from friends, reading books, listening to empowerment audiobooks (i.e. Tony Robbins) and watching personal development videos. I’ve gone to meditation circles, group angel seances, reiki, psychologists, life coaches, wellness coaches, social workers, etc….etc… I’ve been asking these people to help me find the answers to solving the unwanted problems in my life-problems I just couldn’t seem to fix on my own.

I felt so stuck. Like I just don’t know what to do or how to change it. Here is the irony: the bulk of these people mentioned above commonly told me to trust myself, that I already had the answers.

I would get so frustrated! If that was true, I felt inwardly, then why don’t I know the answer?

They would say, “Talk to your angels and guides. They’re always there and always listening and speakng to you.”

Pssst! Yeah right! If THAT was true, I figured, then I would be hearing them, right? And we wouldn’t be having this conversation and I wouldn’t be paying you money I really don’t have, would I? (Insert sarcasm and poverty consciousness HERE.)

Another phrase I heard (which is the message of this post today) is to follow your heart. Some say to “follow your bliss”-a phrase that really began to grate on my nerves really quickly. Things like this sound good but didn’t seem to have any value in everyday life other than a panacea, similar to a high a junkie gets while “chasing the dragon” to avoid his or her suckey life.

But here is where I am…at a juncture where I decide to either take the remainder of this journey with my heart or without it.

As I write this, I have a personal epiphany. I don’t want to FOLLOW my heart; I want to exist THROUGH my heart. I want to LISTEN to my heart, speak its language and marry myself to it. To follow my heart seems to mean we are mutually exclusive, when that isn’t true for me. Maybe that’s been part of my dilemma in this lifetime. I’m chasing behind my heart and not living FROM it.

-I went to college when my heart said no.
-I majored in Biology instead of English or journalism when my heart said no.
-I joined a non-denominational church cult when my heart said, hell no!
-I dated and got engaged to the worst guy ever, moving across the country to be with him when my heart gave me a panic attack in the shower one day and screamed, NO!

..And then in 2010, I began saying YES when my heart said YES-one little decision at a time.

-I dropped out of college with only one general educational requirement left for my Bacchelor’s degree. My heart told me to let it go because it was blocking me from my destiny. I was destined to do big things on my own terms in an entrepreneurial way-not go to school and get a job working for someone else.

-I walked away from the church and religion thing. My heart said it was time to move on. I had outgrown the dogmas and the illusions of religion. When I did this, I lost everything from the roof over my head to my health. But my heart said I would die if I didn’t. I’m glad I listened.

-I began to pursue my childhood dream of being a writer. It seemed too late in the game according to my logical brain, but my heart said to get moving. In 2011, I began blogging. I’m glad I listened to that, too.

And so, here I am in 2013 taking the “Following my heart 102” course. Course 101 is the intial realization that I was going against my heart. It also covered my heart not even being important in my life decisions. In 101, I started to become more aware of what I was feeling on a very basic level.

two diverging paths

Now as I said, I am at a crossroads. I’m faced with either taking my relationship with my heart to the next level or moonwalk backwards into my old way of existing, risking a life of permanent mundane mediocrity and frustration.

This new choice is to take the least-traveled path with my heart. Last night I was faced with this. I found myself online going through new job ads. As an independent contractor, I listened to my heart again and walked away from my job in marketing with a fortune 500 company. Logically it sounds like a stupid idea, but at this stage of the game I know that the heart is not logical.

Now, I am seeking a new job position in my same field-although it doesn’t feel quite right. And I know deep down that my heart is going “Ehhh! This isn’t it.” But I am thinking about money….

Last night, though, I sat down and began writing in my journal. I made a “heart list” of what I REALLY wanted.

See, I realized that it isn’t that I don’t know what the answers are. What I don’t know is HOW things are going to happen or manifest-but the real issue now is that I have to be COMPLETELY HONEST with myself. I have got so many judgments on what I REALLY want based on my mother, my brother, society, my friends, and everybody else that I have been resisting this kind of honesty with myself. In other words, I’m looking at my own truth (heart’s desires) through the lens of other people’s eyes. So when these desires bubble up to the surface, I’m fighting not to push them back down again.

Desires like…

I don’t want to work.

There… I said it.

I see women who are in wonderful marraiges who are provided for by their husbands and, well, I want that, too. I was raised by the feminist generation that sees women as lazy or useless if they are financially provided for by men, but if I’m honest, I really don’t give a damn. I’m driven and career-oriented. I have dreams and plans to fulfill my own purpose in life…but that’s what I want; to be provided for materially. I believe material provision is a male quality. I get very stressed out about bills and stuff. I think more than most, to the point where I get seriously ill.

So here I am, looking for a job when in my heart, I cringe at the idea of slaving (even from my home office with flexible hours) to meet high paced deadlines. I don’t like my time being used up for meager hourly pay. If I DO do a job, it has to be something super-easy with my skillset, easy-going staff, something I love and pays AT LEAST 40-80/hour and it can’t have me tied to a computer for 40 hours a week. (Plus some other requirements, too).

Well, I have been suppressing this because in my head I could hear people rolling their eyes and saying, “Well we all want that!” or them thinking I am lazy or even worse, unrealistic. Now here comes the inner demons: Who am I to want to be paid 80/hour? With my chronic heath issues, (i.e. severe chronic fatigue syndrome) I can’t handle any kind of work! I don’t have the education or expertise to earn that much! I’m not that talented, smart or just plain worth it…am I?

My heart says yes.

My heart says my health issues cannot stop me from my life’s calling to teach and help people know and love themselves (which is my sole inspiration for starting this blog, by the way). My heart swears up and down that I’m worth as much as I think I am. It whispers to me that there are no limitations except those that I place on myself.

It’s a journey. And I’m starting to listen..and hear what my heart is saying…one moment, one whisper, one thought, one decision at a time.

Sending you all peace & internal ease,

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sad woman pic

Today was one of those days.

I was going through some things. I was wrestling with myself internally, stressing over some financial issues. Wondering when my career is going to take off…when all the hard work is going to pay off….


I’m an Aries-very impatient. Looking at the 3 dollars currently in my checking account makes me even more impatient.

Part of the “Idomewed” way of life includes days like today. In our marraige to ourselves, life is great but everyday ain’t a honeymoon. These days or moments are the true test-just like any relationship.

“Idomewed” is a marraige to ourselves. It is about saying “Yes!” to ourselves (especially when life seems to be saying “NO!”)

As I shared in an earlier blog post, we must be our own best friend-and there is never a more needed time for a best bud than a day when you’re feeling down in the dumps.

Even the closest of people in your life fall short in being there in some way. Maybe they’re caught up in their own stuff. Or they love you but they can’t relate to what you’re going through right now.

Whatever it is, the best friend you need most is YOU.

You need that pep talk that only you can give to yourself.

I needed a pep talk today…I needed a “I believe in you!” today….and I needed a “shoulder to cry on” today….

And then, at the end of the day, I needed a “motivation speech to keep me focused on my goals” friend.

All that has to come from me, not someone else.

Only I can pull myself out of a funk.

Only I can dig inside to find my true feelings.

Only I can be gut-level honest with myself about what the root of my feelings are.

Only I can kick myself in the butt to get moving on what to do about it.

For many years I struggled with depression-deep depression. I did not know how to work things out internally when life got hard. I was naturally tough, but I never developed that life skill on how to maintain a positive attitude when things in the present situation weren’t positve. I didn’t know how to navigate my emotions and not get stuck in them.

With an “Idomewed” mentality I am committed to myself for good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer…I’m not just tolerating myself but embracing myself. And that’s what it’s all about.


Which also means embracing my problems and issues.

On days like today when life feels overwhelming, there is a solid place within myself now that I didn’t have before. I know deep down things will manifest. Whatever is in the way can be moved.

But most important of all, I have me…and you have you.

Until we meet again,

X0X0 Helen X0X0

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Gary Chapman wrote a book called “The Five Love Languages” several years back. I recommend it to every human being on the planet.

Why? You ask.

Well, what does the world need?


What do YOU need?

You guessed it again-love.

The problem is that we have no idea what real love is. Our society breeds shallowness. What we call “love” is really “what can this person do for me?”

What this “love” is is performance-based (also referred to as conditional love). There are conditions on this so-called love.

It is based upon the “if-then” principle: If you do this then I will love you. If you get good grades, clean your room and behave quietly then you are loved.

IF you do everything I want you to do, if you make me happy, THEN I’ll love you….

But what is it that we’re missing here?

Idomewed, that’s what.

Idomewed is a mentality, lifestyle and conscious state of being that means authentic love, unconditionally presented at all times. This first starts with SELF. Truthfully, we don’t LOVE ourselves, we don’t HONOR ourselves, and we don’t OBEY our intuition, instincts and hunches. We are our own worst critics, we beat ourselves up constantly, we hate the way we look, the sound of our voice, the way our bodies don’t look like someone else’s- and even more horrifying is that we leave the personal responsiblity of our happiness, security and self-esteem to other people.

Idomewed happens when we take personal ownership of our own well-being. It happens when we do the internal work to heal from past wounds. It happens when we become INTROSPECTIVE and begin taking an honest look at ourselves. It happens when we take on the courageous and tedious task of digging through the emotional attic of our subconscious minds and identifying what mental programs are running our lives. It happens when we begin letting go of the external images and ideas presented to us by our family, friends, media and “powers that be” and redefining our own realities.

One of these external ideas that needs redefining is LOVE. What we know to be love is just a behavioral and mental pattern we are repeating. Our minds were imprinted with what we saw and interpreted to be love as young children-before we had the capacity to critically think for ourselves. Thus, we accepted the shallow, performance-based fast-food version of love as truth. Now we order potential partners like we’re at a drive-thru window at McDonald’s:

“I’d like a #2-no pickles please and extra ketchup.”

What this post is about is what I define as real love. First and foremost, it is about KNOWING SELF. Which leads us to….

TODAY’S QUESTION: What is YOUR love language? In other words, what is the way that you communicate love and feel loved by others?

Dr. Chapman breaks it down into five basic areas:

One: Physical Touch-love experienced through physical contact

Two: Quality time-love experienced through spending meaningful time together, i.e. phone conversations, going to the park, etc.

Three: Receiving gifts-love experienced through recieivng gifts and/or meeting material needs.

Four: Acts of Service-love experienced through actions to meet person’s needs.


Five: Words of Affirmation-love experienced through verbal appreciation and encouragement.

We all speak-and need to receive- these languages of love, it’s just a matter of how they rank in our internal priority list. Chapman calls your #1 language your primary language and #2 the secondary language. Just like with English or Spanish, we each speak a language of love. Even our pets do. The goal is to become fluent in all love languages.

The litmus test is how we express love to others. In other words, our primary love language is the one we express to others. How we love other people. It’s what makes us feel connected and appreciated by other people. Do you feel more connected and appreciated when someone gives you a compliment(Words of affirmation) or if they send you flowers(receiving gifts)? …If they ask you to go out to lunch (Quality time) or give you a ride home when your car breaks down(Acts of Service)?

As far as the litmus test, how do you show love to other people? Do you give them your undivided attention (Quality time) or do you offer to babysit their kids or house-sit for them when they’re out of town? (Acts of Service). Do you “give the shirt off your back” (receiving gifts) or do you offer kind words and verbal encouragement (Words of affirmation)? See, we do to others what we want done to us. We show affection to other people the way we want them to to show us affection.

Last but not least, remember that unconditional love is loving someone the way THEY understand it, aka their love language. It means you don’t judge yourself or the person you’re with because of how you/they are. Most relationships would change overnight if we would just get it through our thick skulls that you love people according to how THEY feel loved, not how YOU feel loved!!! This unconditional love means moving out of your comfort zone to step into someone else’s world and speak their dialect. It means being willing to meet their deepest needs. If your primary love language is Words of Affirmation but theirs is Acts of Service, don’t keep trying to force positive words,compliments and five-second calls at work just to say “I’m thinking of you.” They need you to DO things instead of just SAYING things. Maybe clean up, make them lunch for work, or ask them what they need help with.

This applies to Idomewed as well. If your primary love language is Quality Time, then stop trying to force yourself to always be out and about with other people. You need to spend some QT with yourself to feel happy and fulfilled (unless their primary language is QT too). Even so, your way of loving yourself requires time alone. As a primary QT myself, it is an interesting dichotomy. In my relationships with other people, spending time together is critical but so is my time alone.

So, to wrap things up here, if you know how you “speak love” and interpret love i.e. your love language, then you have entered the realm of real love, where you leave all the judgments at the door and accept others with all the good and the bad-after accepting yourself… for the same reason.

Until next time,
Keep living, loving, and learning…Idomewed!

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When you’re dating yourself, it’s no different than dating another person in most respects.

We’re talking about falling head over heels in love with you, so let’s approach it from the very beginning.

Even though we spend all day every day in our own skin, most of us don’t know ourselves. Many of us hate silence-which is indicative of not liking who we are. It’s as if we are terrified to be alone with our own thoughts. Rightly so, because those thoughts are often-if not always-condemming.

If I were to ask you to name five things you like about yourself and then asked you to name five things you didn’t like about yourself, the first list you most likely would struggle to name three things. The second list would be much easier-and would be hard to cut off at only five.

See the problem?

Here is the million-dollar question: if you can’t name five things you love about yourself-or even like-then how can you successfully attract the kind of love into your life that is what you desire?

Let’s get this straight-you can’t name five things you like about yourself  but you want someone else to like you for you? For what-some invisible qualities? When you don’t like yourself, guess what happens in a romantic relationship:

1. The other person tells you you’re great and because you have no idea what’s great about you, you reject their positive input, putting them down.

2. You begin to look down on your partner because DEEP DOWN in your sub-conscious, you think you are a loser and if they think you’re great and want to be in a relationship with you, they must be a loser, too.

3. You are so insecure that you are always worried they will see you the way you see you and will leave.

See, dating yourself is not meant to be some cute, trendy phrase. It is a way of BEING that people who are emotionally successful embody. They may not call it “dating themselves” or being in love with themselves, but they are without a doubt living that way. You have met them. They walk down the street and their energy is magnetic. Their joy level is obvious and people want to be around them. These people when in relationship seem irritatingly happy to onlookers but they are people who love themselves-people who can easily name five things they love about who they are.

Note: this type of living takes practice. It is a CHOICE. I have to choose every day to live this way-and so will you. The hard part is the beginning. It’s difficult shifting how you think about yourself since your entire life has conditioned you to think a certain way.  But once you make self-love a habit, life becomes much, much, much easier.

I know-you’ve heard this concept before, in many different ways. But that doesn’t negate its truth. Bottom line, until you make the decision to change, the truth will be annoying to you.

So, here’s the mental exercise for today: get a piece of paper and a pen or open a Word document on your computer and list FIVE THINGS YOU LIKE/LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF.

Need a little help?

1. I have a funny sense of humor.

2. I’m a people person.

3. I love animals.

4. I’m not judmental.

5. I have pretty eyes.

Now that you’ve done this, step back and read it. Soak it in. You have permission to feel great about who you are. You don’t have to be “perfect” before you can like yourself.


There can be no love without acceptance. And there can be no acceptance without appreciation. Sure, you may get impatient sometimes, but you are a generous person, too. Appreciate the attributes that you like TODAY. You are and will always be human, which by definition means imperfection. Our weaknesses are our vulnerabilities and these vulnerabilities are what connects us to one another-and to ourselves. So when you can see your weaknesses or flaws-or whatever you choose to call it-and can appreciate yourself anyway, then you are on the path to self-love.

Be well and love well,


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