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Posts Tagged ‘feelings’

stress 2

A teen posted this tweet recently and it got me to thinking.

The tweet looked like this:

The Worst Feelings:

Cheated on
Replaced
Over-thinking
Lied to
Led on
Not appreciated
Not cared for
Being left out
Ignored
Worrying

I don’t think teens are the only ones whose emotions are running their lives.

I am definitely not exempt.

Well, I have my own list of feelings that you may not be consciously aware of that may be ruining your life:

abandoned
resentful
unloved
unappreciated
unworthy
unwanted
shame
embarrassment
guilt
powerless

How these may be ruining your life:

feeling abandoned: makes you feel and continue to manifest “being all alone in the world”. Life may always feel like an uphill battle-you know, the “nothing goes my way” experience. You may be in constant self-defense mode and struggle with trusting people.

feeling resentful: makes you feel and continue to manifest inner conflict. Usually the person is in a situation where they cannot immediately change or walk away. It may mean we feel victims of our situations and we despise those who we see as oppressing us.

feeling unloved: makes you feel and continue to manifest being unloved. You may wrestle with severe to mild depression, suicide or isolation. You may as a result feel as if you don’t matter, that you don’t have any value. You may feel heartbroken and emotionally weak and may put yourself in bad situations with people who mean you no good in your quest for the unconditional love you never received.

feeling unappreciated: makes you feel that no matter what you do, it’s never enough.

feeling unworthy: makes you feel that you don’t deserve to experience good in your life. This can manifest as self-sabotage when it comes to opportunities or relationships.

feeling unwanted: makes you feel unloved and unworthy. This may manifest in some form of rebellion from others since they never felt wanted anyway. A huge disconnect from the heart.

feeling shame: makes you feel perpetual guilt. You may view yourself as unworthy of anything good because you are bad for whatever it is you or someone else say you did “wrong”.

feeling embarrassment: you may feel super self-conscious about yourself or what you do. You may be a slave to what other people think of you.

feeling guilt: see shame.

feeling powerless: makes you feel as if you can’t do it; makes you feel as if you can’t succeed; makes you feel as if whatever you do, it’s never good enough; that your life is not under your control; that what works for everyone else won’t work for me. You may struggle with deep feelings of helplessness and “hating’ on people who do what you do but get what they want while you don’t.

More to come….
Peace

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jesus smoking

I’ve come to the conclusion that this concept of moralism (good versus evil) is the most deadly virus on the planet.

It KILLS our self-esteem, our self-worth and severs our connection with ourselves.

How?

Glad you asked.

When we feel something is “right or wrong” it means we are judging it. When we judge, we separate ourselves from that thing. We also become blind to our own reflection, because usually the very thing we are judging as “bad, evil or wrong” is what we really see in ourselves.

Historically speaking, Morals were meant to keep humanity in check. (for who?) Morals automatically degrade us from infinte spiritual beings in a physical body down to an animal who cannot be self-ruled and self-governed. Morals replace our ability to be masters and mistresses of our own destiny.

I struggled with this “staying neutral” idea at first. It seemed impossible to do in real life and I felt somewhat restricted. But over time, it became more clear that not placing judgments is a freedom not a restriction. Morality labels everything as “good or bad” and making all these judgments is mentally exhausting. We get so frustrated over what other people are doing and how it’s hurting the environment or it’s hurting their health or their children. We waste alot of energy getting upset and worrying over such things. This hurts us and oftentimes makes us sick or we feel superior to someone we see on the news doing something “bad”. Morality, ultimately, is the sugar that feeds the fungus that is our ego.

Because while we’re sitting there judging someone else, we could actually be doing something about it.

It’s a terrible thing when we feel we are a bad, terrible person because we committed a particular act or had a particular thought that is deemed unacceptable by society. That’s another thing moralism and judgment does: it robs us of our individuality. What is “right” or “wrong” is a consensus rather than an individual decision. It makes us slaves to what other people think about us.

See, what I am learning is that what we have been conditioned to see as “right” or “wrong”, “good” or “evil” or “okay” and “unacceptable” is really what is beneficial or detrimental to us. A true moral decision is one where you discern whether something is right for you or if it will harm you.

Since I’ve been laying off the judging people, life has been alot better. My marraige with me, myself and I has been going smoother, too.

Practice not labeling or judging others—and especially yourself. It’s when we stop judging ourselves that we stop judging others.

Until we meet again, love!
Keep the love alive!
Say “I do!” to you!
Lots of love,
Helen

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counseling

I have been in a virtual counseling session this week. Let’s say the past two weeks. Maybe three…

This counseling session has been an internal one. I am delving deep into myself these days. The concept of “inner child” has become very real for me. I have had to begin paying attention to the little girl inside of me-a little girl with unresolved wounds and traumas.

I am not alone as many of us are in this stage of our own personal journeys.

A lesson I’m learning is to honor the feelings that come up-especially the “bad” feelings. I realize that I have been trained by my past circumstances (i.e. childhood) to deny and suppress my negative emotions. It’s a knee-jerk reaction. The moment I have these feelings I unconsciously put the lid on them before I can process them.

This is because I was never allowed to FEEL. Maybe you can relate. I wasn’t allowed to cry (feel sad), to be angry, frustrated, dissapointed or to just say NO. I never had permission to say NO to something I didn’t want to do. Actually, there were pivotal times when I said YES to what I really wanted and I was not allowed to pursue that, either.

Add religious Christian programming to the mix and I had a layer of guilt about these feelings and a “moral” judgment on whether they were good or bad…

This has been most problematic.

When I have a feeling that is “bad” I tense up and stuff it back down. I was afraid of these feelings. And when I got into personal development stuff, i.e. law of attraction, that fear only intensified. I feared that any negative thoughts would single-handedly destroy my future. If I thought “I’m broke” I began to suppress it and get stressed, labeling it “bad” and fearing I have failed-again-dooming myself to a life of poverty and struggle.

Some serious stress.

The good news:

I have been working on myself for a long time now and have made much progress. This blog is one of the products of that progress. I have indeed said “I do” to myself and am in a lifelong partnership with me, myself and I. And just like any relationship, we’ve had our ups and downs. But that never takes away from the awesome experience of it all. The goal is never perfection-it’s experiencing the journey and learning valuable lessons along the way, too.

If you haven’t already guessed, this writing is to me from me. So I am vowing to honor my feelings, no matter how scary that may seem. To honor my feelings is to honor me. If I truly love myself, that includes how I feel. It means giving judgment a looooonng vacation.

I hope you will join me.

Lots of love,
Helen

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