Posts Tagged ‘faith’


It’s that time of year again: the start of a New Year.

It’s my favorite time of year, energetically speaking. As far as weather-it sucks. As I type this, my feet are wet from the ankle-high slippery brown slush covering the streets and the near-zero degree weather. But I relish the season of holiday cheer and love coupled with the spirit of new beginnings. Everyone is thinking about having a happy new year, they’re hopeful for change and are reflecting on the past year while setting goals for the one ahead. I’m like this all the time, so I like when others around me are “mandated” by the Gregorian calendar to do so, too.

Anyway (did I divert from the topic?) I’ve been thinking about what my new “non-negotiables” need to be for 2014. That is, if I want my life to be what I want and deserve it to be.

Then I thought, hey-why don’t I share that with the “Idomewed” gang?

Because as it goes, in my humble opinion, these are bucket list rules we can all use right now.

Non-negotiable #1: Upgrading our friends.

The people we have around us are CRITICAL to our happiness and our success in life-be it in relationships, career, money or whatever. We’ve got to purify our INNER CIRCLE- what I call my ALL-STAR team. These star players need to be on point in this game we call life. Too many of us have people who should be “riding the pine” as our All-star players and that’s why we’re losing. We should have Kobe Bryant but instead we’ve got the guy who sweeps the floors playing power forward. (It’s a Basketball analogy, so stay with me here.)

It’s time to upgrade. Negative people need to be fired from the team. So do complainers. And those who don’t believe in us. And those who don’t value us. It’s time to put it out into the Universe that we deserve and desire people around us who love us, respect us and bring value to our lives. Some friends are old and dear, and they need to be subtly demoted to the bench player. You may have known them since you were 5, but they may also be holding you back.

The “I do me wed” mentality is about loving ourselves in all ways. Part of this lifestyle of self-love is having a high standard for who we allow into our lives and how close they will be. We must value ourselves and when we do, we will have higher standards for who we have on our “All-Star Team”. Most of us just let anyone play, and this year we can no longer afford to continue having the wrong people, mediocre people, or destructive people around us.

Non-negotiable #2: Stop being scared.

We’ve made the goal lists. We’ve done the vision boards. Got real excited about change. Yadda-yadda ya. Now it’s time to take some action. It’s time to feel the fear and do it anyway. If we’re out there pursuing our dream, it’s time to take a big gulp and take things to the next level. Time to make some phone calls that makes you nervous, pitch your idea to someone who you are scared will say no, attend that networking meeting you’ve been making excuses about not attending. It’s not an option to stay cowering in fear because of the economy, or because we may fail. It’s time to wrap our minds and hearts around failure being a normal part of life and a stepping stone rather than a reason to quit. The way the world is going, we don’t have the option to quit or remain comfortable. There is no security as we’ve been sold. Our faith, creativity, and connection with ourselves and the universe is our only security.

Non-negotiable #3: Stop comparing ourselves to others.

Yes, I am guilty as charged. One of my biggest weaknesses is comparing my life to other’s. This New Year was difficult for me for that very reason. I was comparing my progress with the people around me and it seemed I was the biggest loser. This made me seriously depressed. Today I’m out of the hole, and I have decided that me continuing to compare myself is no longer an option. It seemed everyone around me was falling in love (with another person, not themselves). My best friend got engaged right at the New Year’s 12 AM fireworks. Some other people I know are also recently in relationships. I wasn’t (again, with another person romantically).

My depression came from comparing my situation to theirs. And it took some soul-searching to get grounded again. My circumstances are not theirs. My journey is not theirs. My timing is not theirs. We have to cease and desist from blaming ourselves for things not manifesting as fast or effortlessly as someone else’s does. This is toxic and it blocks our own flow.

Non-negotiable #4: Start giving things time to work.

Also guilty as charged. So many of us give up just before the miracle. We must dedicate ourselves to seeing things through. I have a bad habit of getting discouraged if I don’t see physical results in like, a week! I know, it’s pretty atrocious. But it’s a non-negotiable in 2014. We have to be determined and unrelenting to see the results more than how fast we see the results. I did a 20-day detox and lost no weight and was ready to throw in the towel. Mentally, it’s imperative for us to hit the RESET button every week or so to refresh our mental perspective. We need to mentally train ourselves to be patient with things and not give up. It’s an immature mindset and we need to upgrade how we operate.

I know for me, I’m the person who doesn’t like driving to new places. I have the map, the mapquest, the GPS and I still get anxious to the point where I turn around to stop for directions only to find I was almost there. The mall was just beyond the miles of trees but I got scared I was going the wrong direction since it seemed to be taking too long.

Which leads us to the next “non-negotiable”:

Non -negotiable #5: Trusting ourselves and doing what’s right for us.

It’s time to start trusting ourselves. To be honest, we’re going to have to regain some credibility. We’ve spent our lives trusting so-called “experts’ and authorities that we don’t dare believe our own spirits when they speak to us. It’s time to reduce the time watching tv, listening to music all day on our I pods, or waiting for Doctor Oz to approve what’s okay to eat or what supplement to take. We have to research and study and take our lives into our own hands. This is a process, so those of us who are already doing this need to take it to the next level and those who haven’t even started need to begin questioning the so-called wisdom of our doctors, religious leaders, dentists, and government. Then we have to begin sayin NO to things they want us to do that doesn’t make sense or feel right to us.

It’s time to stand up for ourselves. We intuitively know what’s best for us. And it’s time we started believing it.

And let me say that what’s in our best interests is often not in the best interests of government, corporations, big Pharma, Food Inc. and other people. We need to protect our personal freedom to proper and be happy.

Sending love to you all,


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